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I learned this lesson about self-control quite recently and it has changed the way I buy food at the grocery store.  It happens each time I buy food.

At the grocery I have a tendency to just walk around picking up items as I stumble upon what I need because I often forget to make a list.  As I start to walk down an aisle of cookies, candy, chips and baking goods a flash memory of killing my self to make weight at a previous Taekwon-Do competition reminds me that I am currently cutting weight for an upcoming tournament and I don’t need what’s in the aisle.

Then it hit me!

It’s much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it. Don’t buy food you shouldn’t eat.  To do that don’t walk down the aisle of food you don’t want to buy.  By avoiding it first at the supermarket, it won’t be tempting to you from the cupboard for the next week.

The same concept can apply to buying coffee, clothes, cars, homes and so many more temptations.

The Art Of Adaptation: Choose to avoid and not resist.

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A year ago yesterday my daughter was born.  That also means I’ve been a father for a year.  If those first two sentences seem redundant, believe me, they’re not.  They’re absolutely two different and independent facts and events.

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It’s definitely necessary to assess situations more often than yearly but Continue Reading…


I made a promise to a friend that I would write a guest post for her blog.  Long over due but better late than never… here it is!  I apologize Vida.

This post was supposed to be about picking women up.  Back in my hay day… Continue Reading…


I have often wondered why I like people I play sports with when half the time, especially in martial arts, we are hurting each other.  In Taekwon – Do much like other martial arts we have sparring as an event in our competitions.  During these 2 minute rounds we brutalize each other for the entire time.  In some instances it’s necessary to get into a very strange state of mind where I developed a very palatable hate for the other fighter.  I need to in order to win.  Yet as soon as the referee stops the action and it’s finally over, all the tension, anger, hate and hard feelings floods out.  Then in floods a rush respect and friendship.  It’s like each bout is an emotional cleanse.

Why does this happen? Continue Reading…


Recently back from the Eastern Canadian Championships for my sport has made me come to think about and analyze my performance.  Not always do I end up with two gold medals but this time I did.  Is there really anything to analyze from this performance.  Absolutely.

Winning is a goal of mine but it isn’t the only goal.  I think…  what happens if I do win?  What happens if I lose?  If you are 100 per cent caught up on the outcome you may over analyze loses or miss the opportunity to learn how to improve upon a win thinking you did enough.

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If you are breaking down your process and outcome after a win then you are on the right track.  This post is for those people who did not compete as planned.

In the book Flow In Sports by Jackson & Csikszentmihalyi it says,

Some individuals learn to equate failure at a skill or activity with their own failure as a competent people.  This is particularly evident in sport, where athletes are continually being evaluated on performance outcomes.  When this becomes the main, or even only, source of feedback an athlete receives, he can come to view himself as “athlete” rather than as a person who take part in athletics.  The consequences of failing in athletics then take on greater proportions, being intimately tied up with a sense of self-worth as a person.

This is exactly the case in my sport and indeed in many sports.  It is one of the greatest challenges, overcoming a negative performance outcome.  By overcome I don’t mean coming out unscathed because you shouldn’t.  You should learn from each experience.

I know from experience though that it is hard to hold all of those thoughts inside.  It is also very unproductive if you have no one to give you feedback on your performance and thoughts about it.

There is an answer and this is the Art Of Adaptation:

You must change your primary focus from achieving certain outcomes to creating opportunities for optimal performance.  Basically, rather than focusing on the win you must be focused on doing your best.  In short if you do your best that day that is all you can do. 

Selecting goals and basing your performance against your earlier performance is one way to do this and it is much more realistic.  This will also produce an improvement in your level of skill and have a better impact of your confidence.

To all those people coming back from the competition who understand.  I feel yea!

Tell me about a recent performance in anything, your thought process before, during and after.  What did you conclude?  How do you focus on creating optimal performance and not focusing on outcomes?  How do you stay in the moment?